Monday, March 20, 2006

March of the Morons

"The 78th Academy Awards proved evermore predictable this year.

"Once again, Meryl Streep was nominated out of pure reflex. Once again, speeches were cut short by the band. Once again, it was an entire evening of self-congratulatory dick sucking by people a million times richer and more beautiful than you or I.

"Yet, if there is one Oscar tradition stronger than any other, it is the inevitable honoring of a film or actor “brave” enough to tackle the subject matter of the mentally challenged. The illustrious list of trailblazing actors includes such luminaries as Dustin Hoffman, Tom Hanks, and Sean Penn. Given this history, is it any surprise that March of the Penguins took home the gold statuette for best feature documentary?

"That’s right, dear reader, I propose you add to that list of loveable “special” subjects the Emperor Penguin. 2005’s most beloved documentary is, at its core, a movie about retarded animals."

March of the Morons

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